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Im done with people6/19/2023 ![]() It was in that darkly lit forum that I would share my story with what I now consider saviours and angels. I stumbled upon many articles and forums with women buzzing about… the odd man would enter the conversation, with his digital head down, shamefully searching for an answer to a question most of us (especially men) are scared to ask.īut that’s where I found myself… among the often frequented, but not often spoken about, alleyways of the internet. Not surprisingly I wasn’t the first to search this subject. I would sleep in our spare room and tell her I was feeling sick, when in actual fact I was secretly searching the internet for the answer to: My nights out became later, my beer consumption increased. ![]() I looked at her as we shared the joys of her reply to my invitation to matrimonial bliss, and all I could think to myself was, “I think I’m supposed to be more excited than this.”įor the next three months my stomach was in knots… On the day we got engaged my world imploded. Knowing what I had (her), and feeling what I felt was a great source of pain for me… because my intellectual mind was saying, “This is what you’re supposed to want”.Īnd my emotional brain replied, “But it’s not what you want.” That gap made me feel sick. This seems shocking to read, right?! Most people thought what you’re thinking right now, “Why the fuck would you potentially question that type of partner? Hot and smart? You idiot.” All I can tell you is that it just didn’t feel right. This is about my journey through that… and a little more. But yet, despite what I tell you, there was just something in me that was screaming and gnawing at my soul that I wasn’t where I needed to be. ![]() The woman was (is) beautiful, kind, smart, athletic… she was basically perfect. ![]() When I was twenty-seven I was in a five-year long relationship. ![]()
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